Everything I Hate About Christmas

Let’s get this out in the open: I don’t like Christmas. I’m a self-declared grinch (or Grinchmand), and I’m OK with that.

Yes, I know hating Christmas is an unpopular stance in the West, but that’s precisely why I’m writing it here—on my personal blog—and not on Reddit, or social media, where I’ll get pilloried.

And before you get all angry—there are SOME things I like about Christmas, and I see the appeal of a modest “Christmas in July” in Australia’s coldest month, minus the commercialisation, gaudiness, useless lore, and waste. Read on, as there’s nuance.

A Tale of Two Christmases

Before I continue, let me make one distinction. There’s the North American style of Christmas—big, bold, and brimming with commercial hype—and the more understated European style, full of twinkling winter markets, mulled wine, and modest wreaths.

I actually enjoy the European style. I like a winter market and appreciate the atmospheric lighting. It’s subdued, pretty, and barely religious. While some American-style commercialisation has seeped into Europe over the past few decades, it’s still far less in-your-face than in many parts of the United States.

What drives me up the wall is American Christmas: the gaudy lawn ornaments, overly sentimental holiday movies, and unrelenting, conspicuous commercialization. It’s everywhere you turn—stores, streaming services, grocery aisles, music stations—and every encounter makes me grit my teeth a little further.

(By the way, I’m no hater of America. I quite like a lot of it. Here’s a list of ten understated things I like about the U.S., just so you can see I have balanced views!)

Trying to Make Amends (and Failing)

Every year, I halfheartedly try to reconcile my issues with Christmas, mostly for my partner’s sake. She loves the “coziness,” the family gatherings, the decorations, and the songs.

I do like spending time with family—just not all the extra holiday paraphernalia.

And one thing I enjoy about Christmas conceptually is some of the food, like Christmas cake or pudding (which many Americans don’t even have) or a glass of eggnog.

But even then, these treats aren’t mind-blowing. And many traditional holiday dishes—ham or roast potatoes—could just as easily be served any time of year without raising eyebrows.

The most coherent argument I’ve heard for Christmas is that it gives people something to look forward to during the gloomy stretch of winter in places where it gets cold. That’s fair. But for me, winter itself is its own reward—I can cosy up by the fireplace and enjoy hearty winter fare without attaching made-up lore to it.

Made-up Lore: Santa, Sweaters, Movies, Waste, and Music

Lore is central to Christmas. Let’s start with Santa Claus. What’s going on with this guy?

The modern-day Santa is typically white, overweight, and dressed in red. (There’s a story that used to float around that Coca-Cola invented his image, but I never bought that. It’s not as though Coke is a traditional Christmas drink.) And then you have the elves, the North Pole workshop, and all the rest of the fantastical fluff.

What really blows my mind is that American kids believe that Santa is real. In many other countries—European ones, or even Australia—kids know the deal. Santa is more of a playful tradition, like the Easter Bunny.

But in the U.S., kids actually believe in Santa, and then have the truth broken to them some time around puberty. So you get an entire sub-genre of saccharine holiday films about children who lose their faith in Santa and then must “believe” again, as though he’s a deity. Maybe it dovetails with certain Christian influences. Still, other Christian-majority countries don’t cling to a jolly, gift-giving figure quite this intensely.

Why do parents lie to kids about Santa Claus in the US? It’s a weird tradition. It would be different if the parents also believed in him (like with regular religious beliefs), or if they got some benefit out of the ruse. This is a huge mystery to me that nobody can explain, other than parents delighting in kids having hope in something in a world that’s otherwise devoid of it (is it that bad? It doesn’t seem that bad…)

I actually came across this quite good argument that lying about the myth of Santa Claus is more about familial bonding and mostly for the parents. This makes sense! As long as the rest of their research is true and it doesn’t traumatise the kids…

I’m absolutely not a fan of “ugly Christmas sweaters,” those intentionally hideous knits that people proudly wear. It baffles me that people buy and flaunt something designed to be unattractive. Maybe I’m missing out on the fun, but I truly don’t get it. The recurring joke of someone having to wear a sweater they hate just because it’s a tradition was never funny.

Lawn decorations are another pet peeve. I do like festive lighting and colorful scenes—particularly at European Christmas markets—but many American neighborhoods go overboard. Everywhere you look, there’s a half-deflated inflatable Santa or reindeer taking up entire lawns. Sometimes these blowups look less like holiday cheer and more like leftover car dealership balloons.

Which leads me to holiday movies. It’s astonishing how many are made and how uniformly bad most of them are. Of course, there are a few I like that merely include Christmas, like Home Alone, Die Hard, and The Long Kiss Goodnight. I even enjoyed the classic 1940 rom-com The Shop Around the Corner. But those would still be entertaining if they were set during any family-themed holiday—Chinese New Year, for instance.

The bulk of Christmas flicks, though, seem to revolve around the same hackneyed tropes: an adult (or sometimes a child) who doubts Santa, a lonely person without a partner, a “Christmas Miracle,” some heartwarming lesson about presents, the “Spirit of Christmas,” and so on. It’s all hopelessly cliché. For some reason, people know this, but still lap them up — dozens of Christmas movies are made every year.

Don’t even get me started on the endless “holiday specials” every major TV show churns out. I’ll give credit to Seinfeld for bypassing the standard template with its iconic “Festivus” episode—and to Futurama for making Robot Santa delightfully terrifying.

Another big issue is the sheer amount of waste this season produces—gifts nobody needs or wants, disposable decorations, plastic wrappings, and lawn ornaments that might not make it past New Year’s. It’s a colossal strain on the environment. Year after year, I wonder how much unnecessary stuff ends up in landfills simply because it’s labeled “Christmas-themed.”

Holiday music isn’t much better. There are maybe three Christmas songs I genuinely enjoy, but everything else is an onslaught of jingling sleigh bells and failed attempts to rhyme “Christmas” with anything.

And while there are a few traditional Christian hymns or songs that connect to a religious service—like in Catholic mass or in more solemn Orthodox traditions—most modern tunes are just about snow, Santa, or generic holiday cheer.

Religion vs. Christmas Commercialism

For the record, I don’t have a problem with those who practice religion in their own way, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone. If you’re Christian, you might attend midnight mass or celebrate on January 7 or 8 if you’re in an Orthodox tradition. (In some places, this is tied in with “Fête des Rois,” a celebration of the Three Kings/Epiphany.)

If you find deeper spiritual meaning in Christmas, that’s a different story. But it’s hard to deny that much of the holiday has nothing to do with religious faith.

Modern Christmas borrows from ancient harvest festivals, and over time, commercial interests tacked on trees, decorations, stockings, Santa, elves, and the rest of it. For context, here’s a link about the holiday’s origins predating Christianity.

So, if you’re thinking Christmas is purely a religious event, realize it isn’t so universal. Orthodox Christians often don’t celebrate it on the same day; other denominations prioritize Easter as a more significant date.

And if you want a parallel example, think of Naw Ruz (or Now Ruz) in the Bahá’í faith, with which I grew up (though from which I’ve moved on). Millions of Bahá’ís celebrate it, but it’s also tied to much older traditions celebrated by hundreds of millions of others around Central Asia. And many of its associated customs—food, dancing, parties—don’t necessarily have any religious context.

The Southern Hemisphere Conundrum

A major contradiction that pokes a hole in the idea of Christmas is the global celebration of Christmas in places where it’s summer. Australians (and presumably South Africans and Kiwis) party in the blazing sun, often with beach barbecues. Santa suits are downright stifling in that weather, but not the skimpy outfits Australians opt for.

Growing up in the southern hemisphere, I thought reindeer were mythical creatures, like elves. Imagine the shock to my system when I finally encountered one in Sweden, only to be eating reindeer soup shortly after. It was like eating a unicorn burger.

Australian Christmas always felt superfluous to me. The summer has enough to celebrate! The days are long, it’s hot, and it’s peak vacation season. Australia doesn’t prioritise pork as much as the US or Europe, so a Christmas ham feels weird (and isn’t as good), and a Christmas “lobster” (often a crayfish, anyway) just feels stupid.

So if the purpose is to brighten a dreary winter, it doesn’t quite work in Australia. Even in some parts of the U.S. or Europe where winter is pleasant—like Southern California—it’s a stretch.

So What Does the Grinchmand Actually Like?

I appreciate Christmas as an excuse for some family members to gather (seemingly, never all of them together). My partner’s dad’s birthday is on Christmas Day, so we get to celebrate with traditional Korean birthday soup (myeok-guk). I bake a cake, and it’s nice to spend time together.

I also enjoy the minimal stress I incur by opting out. I don’t buy a ton of gifts, I don’t worry about decorations, and I don’t plunge into post-holiday credit card debt. I just cruise by and wait for the New Year.

That’s about it for my Christmas enthusiasm. Once the New Year rolls around, I feel relieved that all the forced cheer has finally passed for another twelve months.

“How did you get this way??”

You might be wondering “How did you get this way? Did someone hurt you when you were a kid?” Well, kind of, but that’s not why.

I grew up in Australia, itself a far less commercial environment than the US (at the time, anyway), where it’s hot at holiday season, in a religion that acknowledged Christmas but didn’t celebrate it. So every year, my school friends would get things like bikes, video games, and frisbees, and I got nothing.

On top of that, my parents aren’t natural gift givers. When the time of year came round for us to receive presents — Persian/Baha’i New Year or our birthdays — we’d typically look forward to something we didn’t really want (like a belt) or cash. If we had the foresight to ask for something, we might get it.

So I don’t have any fond memories of Christmas. But that’s not why I’m against it. I don’t mind kids getting gifts, just because I didn’t—I’m not some twisted monster! I just, as I mentioned above, don’t like all the stuff around Christmas. It’s silly and unnecessary. You can give gifts at any time without all the unnecessary mythology and waste.

Feel free to drop me a comment or message on my contact page. Have a wonderful day—whether you celebrate anything or not!