That’ll Never Work, and 100 Other Ways People Will Poo-Poo Your Ideas

That’ll never work. Trust me.

There’s a reason why nobody else has done it, or done it well — it doesn’t work.

Actually, Apple tried it once. Don’t you remember? It was a spectacular failure.

It’ll take too much capital expenditure for you to try it. You need to be a big company to even have a shot of it working.

What makes you think you can develop a technological edge without that much R&D expense?

But do you even have any experience in the field?

Do you really think those big manufacturers are going to want to work with you? Their minimum order quantities are in the thousands.

Sure, you might get it manufactured — but then how will you sell it? It’s all marketing. If you were a marketing person, sure.

But then you know who really wins at marketing — Facebook and Google. That’s a nice position to be in!

Eighty percent of businesses fail. Or is it ninety per cent? You have a one-in-ten chance of just not failing. And maybe a one-in-a-hundred chance of doing well. Are those odds you want to take?

The easy path to wealth is to get a job, save, and invest well. That’s how most people become millionaires, you know.

Just buy property. It has worked for a lot of people. Haven’t you read Rich Dad, Poor Dad?

You might make money, but you probably won’t beat the stock market. Dollar cost average, you know — invest early and just buy ETFs.

You’re underestimating the legwork involved. Anyone can have an idea. Execution is everything.

It looks good on paper, but your margins are going to get eaten away by competition.

The thing is, the market can change in a second. Look at what Trump’s tariffs did to everyone manufacturing in China. Or what war does to oil prices. Are you willing to wear that risk?

You might have a one-in-a-thousand chance of success. Are you willing to take those odds?

The truth is — most people fail. We just don’t hear about the failures.

You can’t pick good investments. It’s impossible. The market is chaotic and random. Otherwise, every mathematician would be a millionaire.

Everyone wants to be Warren Buffett, but he was patient. The truth is, you probably don’t have that patience.

The best thing to do is to take a slice of someone else’s money. Be the middleman.

I think that if you model it out, you’ll find that it won’t scale. Even if it does, you probably haven’t accounted for slimmer margins and growth rates as you grow.

This isn’t just something you’ll do over the next year; it’s a ten-year decision. Can you even do that? Have you done anything for ten years?

I have friends who’ve tried things like that and they got really screwed over by shipping delays. It cost them so much time. And there was nothing they could do in the meantime.

You can’t just “make money with AI”. Everyone can use AI. Notice how people aren’t wealthy as a result.

Trading is all about inside information. You have to know what’s going to happen — and yeah, that’s corruption, but that’s how the world works. If you’re not connected, you just don’t get the same opportunities.

The market isn’t what it was 50 or even 20 years ago. You might think you have advanced technology at your fingertips, but there are high-frequency traders who have servers inside the stock exchanges. You think you can beat them?

The reality is that the market recalibrates all the time. Whenever there’s an opportunity, competitors spring up and fill the gap. So your idea might be valid now, but it’ll be equalised within a few years.

Is that even a growing market? Seems a bit niche.

Are there good opportunities in that market? Seems like it’s one full of low-spending cheapskates.

That idea will probably get swallowed up by AI soon anyway, so you may as well wait until that whole thing shakes out.

It’s just such a bad time to get VC funding right now, what with high inflation and interest rates and all.

Even if you do get funding, do you want to be beholden to some VC breathing down your neck the whole time? No, thank you.

Hiring is so expensive. Developers want a ton of money and to barely work. Then it turns out they have three jobs at a time. Tell you what — just become a developer!

But then, developers won’t exist in a few years, anyway. Same with most jobs.

Wait, doesn’t that already exist? You’re just copying something that worked in China and doing it here… there’s no innovation in that.

Anyway, this market is completely different.

Before doing anything, you should start with a survey. Understand your market.

Let’s see what it looks like on Google Trends… hmm, seems like not much interest, and it’s diminishing. Hey, people seem to like Pokémon, though.

That idea seems a bit big. Can you strip it down to an MVP?

I dunno, it sounds like that won’t make money for a while — I prefer ideas that make money right away.

But is that something you’re passionate about?

Anyway, just because you’re passionate about something, it doesn’t mean it’s a good business idea. I know a ton of gym and café owners who have to shut down after a while.

Why would people need that? Most people would just use Google Sheets.

I don’t think people would pay for that, would they? I’m pretty sure free versions of it exist…

I’m not sure that pricing model makes sense. Maybe if it were free and ad-supported? But I hate ads and block them anyway 😉

The thing is, with ideas like this, the ideal time to have started is 10 years ago. Your competitors have a lot of mind share that’ll be hard to beat.

It’s a great product, but you have to build a brand. That’s a whole other ball game.

You’re up against 20-year-olds who live at home and have unlimited resources — don’t underestimate that. People like us just don’t have the same runway they do. You have kids and can’t live on ramen!

A smart person like you should just double down at work. You’re just frustrated with your boss. Have you tried changing teams or companies?

Startups are so much work. Say goodbye to your social life and your hobbies.

Meanwhile, there are billions in China and India who’ll work twice as hard on this same idea. They don’t care about “work/life balance”. That’s what you’re up against.

You know someone’s going to steal your idea, right?

How much upside is in this anyway? It’s not a billion-dollar idea. I say go big, or go home.

But what’s the point of working on a “lifestyle business”? If you aim low, you’ll shoot yourself in the foot from the get-go.

If it’s not something you’ll use yourself, then you’ll have a hard time selling it. You have to “dog food” your own products.

But then again, you have to truly understand your market. Did you know that for most of its existence, Victoria’s Secret’s CEO was a man?

That whole industry is a scam.

I always thought you’d be good at that other thing that’s totally different from what you’re talking about.

But watch out for the regulatory aspects of it — I think they’re more complicated than you think.

Don’t get sued!

Customer service will be a killer, though. Just make sure you budget for that.

Argh, so much paperwork! You couldn’t pay me to do all that.

It’s so hard because your home is where you rest as well as work. I really like just coming home from the office and having nothing more to do other than relax.

Just watch out for the ethical implications of what you’re doing — consumers are getting so picky these days. So many people I know use that fancy “Who gives a crap?” toilet paper that’s recycled, for example. Hey, do they have a competitor?

Hiring sucks these days. Everyone wants to work from home, work half days, bring their dogs to work, etc. And they want to be paid huge salaries and then just quit one day anyway.

You have to protect your IP, so if you haven’t budgeted for a patent lawyer, then do so. Yeah, they’re expensive. Is it too late for you to get admitted as a lawyer?

That sounds like it’s going to need a lot of travel.

You’re going to have rough days. Maybe you’re ready for that, but whatever you do, don’t take out stress on your family and kids. They’ll resent you for it. Ask me how I know.

I mean, I’m sure it’ll work but… aren’t you afraid you might get bored of it after a few years? A lot changes in our lives.

Frankly, the accounting for that sounds awful — make sure you really understand bookkeeping and the relevant accounting rules.

You don’t start a café because you want to make coffee. You start a café because you want to sweep the floor and do the dishes.

That’s too complicated. Less is more.

I just don’t know if people need that. People only want sex, money, or food. Does this get them one of those things?

You have to have connections to make that work. It’s all about connections. 

And you have to have start-up money. That’s the bit nobody tells you. Elon Musk wouldn’t have made it rich if his parents weren’t rich. 

Be careful risking your own money on an idea like that — raise money and leverage that! Other people’s money — OPM, baby.

But no bank will lend you money for that — it’s too risky. They want safe bets.

Also, it sounds a little too dependent on exchange rates.

On the other hand, that’s not something VC investors are interested in — it’s too boring. It hasn’t got sex appeal. Can you add AI to it or something?

Customer acquisition costs are probably going to be pretty high.

But customers are fickle — retention is going to be tricky, how will you manage it? I pretty much cancelled every subscription I have.

It just takes one bad review to kill you. So stressful!

Do you have a plan for quality control? I always pay extra – I hate being QC for a company. 

You know, I have a friend who started a marketplace, but delivery was so expensive, they just started a delivery service, and that’s their main business. So, think about that. Maybe this isn’t the idea you’ll end up doing.

If customers don’t get a gorgeous design, they’re not interested.

It’s just so expensive selling online these days. Marketplace fees, payment processor fees, credit card fees, shipping fees, sales tax… your whole margin gets eaten up really quickly.

That idea was good a few years ago. Now, there’s too much competition.

You’re spending too much time on the product — you have to do more influencer marketing. I mean, maybe we should just be influencers…

Not really sure about that name.

What I wish there were is something like what you’ve got but… I dunno… a little easier to use.

You’re still working on that??? …Wow. You’re tenacious.

Aren’t you worried about health insurance?

The early 2000s/the nineties/the eighties — those were the golden years.

Some people were just in the right place at the right time.

It’s easy to make money in a bull market. But “it’s only when the tide goes out that you see who has been swimming naked.”

You’ve got to be young, have a partner, and have a couple of successful startups behind you. Investors hate older first-time solopreneurs.

Never start anything unless you already have an exit strategy.

You’ve got to assume the absolute worst can happen, and prepare for that.

Take care of your mental health. Nobody talks about it, but depression kills a lot of businesses.

But anyway, good for you! It’s awesome to see my friends take risks and try difficult things.