Living in Melbourne — A Highly Subjective Review

I’ve returned (somewhat) to Melbourne after an absence of 15 years. I last lived here as a professional empty suit in the 2000s, a time of my life when I worked 60 hours a week and had no time (or surplus budget) to enjoy anything of what Melbourne has to offer.

But now, I’ve returned to this city (50% — I still spend half the year abroad) after having lived in or spent time in many of the world’s greatest cities — including Paris, London, Los Angeles, Singapore, and of course, Sydney — and I have enough points of comparison to be able to say that Melbourne truly is one of the greatest cities in the world.

Of course, Melbourne has its downsides. It’s cold in winter, the transport system leaves much to be desired, and did I mention it’s cold? I’ll explain why this is important below…

And I would never say it’s the “best” city, as every city has strong and weak points, nor would I dare to bestow upon it that most vague of descriptions — “Most Liveable”. Please. Liveable? You can live in a box.

I’ll try to give a review below of what Melbourne is like, referencing as many other places as possible. Yes, even Sydney, which I think is different but also wonderful (two great cities in one country! What a place!) I’ll start with my favourite thing.

Note: This review is, obviously, subjective. It’s based on things I like. I’m a somewhat liberal/libertarian kind of guy. I’m in favour of minority rights, but also a land-owning capitalist, just not a berserk one. I can’t stand soulless, authoritarian, materialistic places like Dubai, Hong Kong (for expats) or Singapore, though of course, those cities have their good points (and close friends who live there). I enjoy things like combat sports, nature, motorcycles, language learning, and comedy. If you’re like me, you might enjoy the below. If you’re not, you can go read something else!

Melbourne’s Multiculturalism (and Food)

Melbourne is a multicultural city.

The word “multicultural” is bandied about with sometimes reckless abandon. Sometimes it means “Where are Asians and/or brown people here”. Sometimes it means “We have Mexicans”. But in Melbourne, multiculturalism runs deep.

Melbourne is multicultural in a way that very very few places are. The only others I’d say are its equal are Los Angeles, New York, Sydney, and London. Really — those are the only four cities in the world I’d say are its equal (and they each do it differently).

Melbourne’s multiculturalism — like those of other places — is institutional. There have been other cultures living in Melbourne or decades. This includes Greeks, Italians, Chinese, Vietnamese, Lebanese, Jews, Indians, and other minorities. There’s an extremely well-established post-Holocaust Jewish community in Melbourne.

Plus, Melbourne’s multiculturalism is expanding. There are ever more migrants and refugees from a huge variety of places. There are expanding Sudanese, Ethiopian, Malaysian (including Malaysian Chinese), Pakistani, and many other cultures. While they’re still first or second-generation, Melbourne has shown that it can embrace and adapt. Within a couple of decades, they’ll be part of Melbourne’s fabric.

The effect of multiculturalism is twofold.

The first, most important effect of multiculturalism is a general feeling of acceptance.

I’m a brown man in a relationship with an Asian woman. We walk around and nobody gives a second thought to us. We’re part of the landscape, whether as individuals or together.

There truly are very few parts of the world where we both feel like this. Again, they’re those multicultural places mentioned above.

In most parts of Melbourne, you can be someone of any ethnicity and you’ll completely fit in. This isn’t to say there isn’t classism (or racism), of course. There’s classism in some of the wealthier parts of town, and racism the further out you get from Melbourne’s centre.

But in the city, and within say a 5 km radius, Melbourne is as bubbling a melting pot as they come.

The multiculturalism in Melbourne means that people are comfortable with minorities and with asking about backgrounds out of a genuine desire to connect. Melburnians know people of many backgrounds and something about those cultures.

Recently, for example, one person asked me (after we had gotten to know each other quite well) where I was from. When I told her I was Persian, she said “Oh, you should meet [that guy]! He’s Persian! Do you speak Farsi?” That’s two points. She even knew the native language word for my mother tongue (though I just call it “Persian” in English).

By way of contrast, in Sunshine Coast, Queensland, someone asked me where I was from. When I told him I was Persian, he said “Oh, you should meet [that person]! She’s from Egypt,” as if that had anything to do with it. He just put two brown people together. Awkward.

The second impact of multiculturalism, more superficially, is that there’s great food.

In Melbourne, you can get truly world-class food from all of the above (and more) cultures. Chefs move to Melbourne because the lifestyle and pay is great, and the food is backed by Australian produce and made and served by well-paid Australian kitchen and floor staff. It’s sometimes expensive, but there are cheap eats a-plenty.

It’s really one of the best places in the world for a wide range of things like Vietnamese pho or banh mi, Chinese dim sum or spicy Sichuan food, Japanese ramen, Italian gelato, and Greek gyros/souvlaki.

One cool part of Melbourne’s multiculturalism is that there are quite distinct zones where you can transport yourself to another country.

• Parts of Springvale and Footscray are just New Saigon. In some restaurants they don’t even speak English. Richmond has tons of Vietnamese too, with an older vibe.
• Parts of Dandenong belong to just Afghans and other central Asians.
• The CBD used to have a huge Greek presence. They’re still there, but the overwhelming feeling you get is of young Chinese migration to the many high-rise developments.
• Box Hill is like New Shanghai and home to some of the best dumplings you will find in the world. Chinatown in the CBD is like China of the 70s, with world-class dim sum (which some locals call “yum cha” (from 飲茶).
• Sydney Road is Lebanese, Greeks, and Turks. Altona and Coburg have other populations of Lebanese
• Lygon St is old-world Italy… though it’s getting expensive to stay there.
• A bunch of suburbs in the Glen Eira holds one of the largest Jewish populations in the world.

A few things are missing, of course. Melbourne doesn’t have particularly great Mexican food (some people try to tell me some place is “pretty good”, but any card-carrying Californian knows it holds nothing on that $2 taco truck they go to where they have to order in Spanish, even though it’s in the middle of town). Indian curries are fine, but pitiful compared to what you get in London. And while the Korean food is decent, it doesn’t hold a candle to the stuff you get in LA. One city can’t have it all!

But despite the notable absence of some cultures’ foods, Melbourne has plenty to keep people entertained.

Climate / Weather / Daylight

Yeah, Melbourne’s cold. And random. But there’s more to it!

Below is my qualitative description of Melbourne’s weather. You can get average temperatures, rainfall, and daylight from other sources (and I’ll mention it below), but the important thing is the feeling.

When people say Melbourne is cold, they mean that “In Melbourne’s coldest months, living in an old-fashioned Melbourne house is cold, largely due to its poor insulation.” But it excludes that Melbourne has a glorious summer with wonderfully long nights, and that apartments shield many new arrivals from the worst of Melbourne’s winter.

Melbourne is a classic “four seasons in one day” city. So that’s the general caveat. I’ll talk more about that later, but in general, I’d sum up the weather of Melbourne like this:

Month	Weather
January	Hot! Frequent 35+ degrees C / 100+ F days. Sometimes 40+. Dry.
February	Hot! With some glorious summer days. Still often in the 30s.
March	Still lovely
April	Crisp, getting cold
May	Cold
June	Cold and dark
July	Miserable, cold, and dark
August	Miserable, cold, and dark
September	Cold, but maybe some bright spots
October	Crisp, sometimes cold, sometimes warm
November	Nice. Sunny days back!
December	Warm and pleasant
January	Hot again! Oh right, we’re back at the beginning.

The reason this is important is that “average temperature” charts — even those showing the “average high” or “average low” are misleading, because the range is so high.

Looking at an average temperature chart, you may think you don’t even need air conditioning. You’re wrong. In an apartment especially (where opening a window isn’t practical because of noise or wind), air conditioning is mandatory to survive a Melbourne summer, unless you plan to be at the beach or in the cold aisle of a supermarket.

And the winter doesn’t look that bad, but believe me, if you’re going to work at 8am on a cold, rainy day, with sleet in your face, then you’ll understand what a Melbourne’s cold can be.

The other side of the story is daylight hours. At least these can be charted. I like to look at total hours of light, including crepuscular light at dawn and dusk.

The summer nights are gloriously long. But in winter, you may find yourself going to and returning from work in the dark. It’s a bit of a bummer.

Let’s talk more about why Melbourne is often described as cold.

On paper, people coming from somewhere like North Europe, Russia / the ‘Stans, North China, or Canada would laugh at a description of Melbourne as “cold”, even at the peak of its winter. But they (or you, if it’s you) have a different perspective.

In the northern half of the world, architecture is built with weather in mind. In north China, for example (I lived in Beijing for a while), there’s government-funded heating that warms all the apartment blocks, which is how most people live. From roughly November to March, everyone in an apartment building is toasty warm. Sometimes, on the top floors, it’s too warm.

Similarly, European houses are built with efficiency in mind. Energy is expensive there. So houses are built with thick walls and double-glazed windows. I’ve been in places where it was -20 degrees C (-4 F) outside. But because I was toasty when I was inside, it made going outside tolerable.

Traditionally, Australia wasn’t like this. Old weatherboard homes have terrible insulation. This makes them hot in summer and cold in winter. In the old days people would just open a window or light a fire in the fireplace. But energy is getting expensive, which is why apartment living makes sense to most people these days.

So when the thermometer plunges to the 0-10 degrees range (near freezing), Melbourne feels really cold, even to someone who’s used to areas where it’s well below freezing.

On the plus side, at least your water pipes or car’s engine won’t freeze over. And also, you get to walk around in fashionable Melbourne winter gear, like boots, long coats, and a scarf. People style it up in Melbourne over winter.

The caveat, as I mentioned, is that modern apartments are warm. It’s not all bad! If you live in a new development, it’s unlikely you’ll freeze through winter. Yes, it’ll be brisk outside. But you’ll be fine. The rest of us will just light a fire.

Oh, and the “four seasons in one day” thing. In the shoulder seasons, it’s common to need to take both an umbrella and sunglasses when going out. The weather turns on a dime (or a “ten cent piece”, I suppose). But it’s great. The rain makes you appreciate the sunshine. I really like it. In fact, I’m writing this right now as a squall ends and the sun comes out.

It never (or “very rarely”) rains for a long period in Melbourne, by the way. There are slightly rainier months, and there are definitely storms, but it’s not like Queensland where there are sometimes weeks or months of near-constant rainy days. The roads dry out in Melbourne! This is the best part, for me.

Speaking of roads…

Walkability and Transport in Melbourne

Walkability and access to public transport are two things that make cities really great to live in.

Melbourne is middling on this front. I think Paris and London are at the pinnacle of walkable world cities. You can get a metro to anywhere, and the walk from the metro to your destination is always blessed with European architecture. Apart from a couple of rough lines (and pickpocketing), Paris and London are hard to beat.

Similarly, many other cities in the world have great metro systems. Many European and Asian cities do. So does New York, even though it’s weird in some ways (everyone has a story about something a sketchy guy was doing on New York Metro).

Ask a Melburnian what public transport is like, and you’ll get one of two answers, depending on where they live. If they live in the inner city or central suburbs, they’ll say it’s great and they rarely use their car. If they live in the suburbs — even just a few km from the centre — they’ll say it’s terrible.

The reason for this answer is that Melbourne has a city loop metro, a radial train system that extends into the suburbs, trams, and buses. But core is the central tram and radial train system.

The train and tram system works well if you’re fairly near the city and most of the time. If you live in South Melbourne, Carlton, or Collingwood, then you could be fairly comfortable taking a network of trams and maybe a train to get to where you’re going.

Similarly, it works OK if you’re in the suburbs and live near a train station. You can at least get to a train station and then get to the centre and go anywhere.

A general caveat applies to trains and trams. They’re usually reliable — i.e. around 90-95% of the time, which is fine if you’re going on a predictable route with no connections.

But if you’re making a connection, the reliability score multiplies, and they become unreliable. Essentially, if you have a connection (which is usually the case going somewhere new), you should leave 15 minutes early to make sure you’ll arrive on time. Because around one in ten times a connection will be miscalculated or the connecting train or tram will be very late. Like, 10-15 minutes late is not uncommon.

Anyway, this is all assuming you have access to trains and trams. But the majority of people live in suburbs and are far enough from a train station that they’d have to drive and park there. Which means you need a car anyway, just to get to the train station — and you still have to deal with parking once you’re there.

There is an alternative — the bus. You can use the bus to get between suburbs, or to get from your house to the train station. The buses are a little old-fashioned in tech but they’re comfortable and air conditioned. They don’t carry location transponders, so Google Maps doesn’t know where they are (if they’re on time or running late).

But the good thing about buses is that you have to use your Myki card to get on, which means there’s a much lower chance of there being a homeless or mentally ill person on board (see below on safety).

Still, buses? I don’t expect a metro to be able to take you everywhere in Melbourne — it’s a huge city. But there should at least be lines that connect the outer arms.

On a positive note, Melbourne has a raft of expansion plans for its public transport, which do include some connecting lines. Some are short-term, some long. These include

• Removing 110 level crossings, replacing them with tunnels or bridges — this reduces congestion and also noise (Due 2030. 75 done by 2024)
• Airport rail — connecting trains to both Melbourne’s West (Sunshine and Footscray), the city (via new stations in State Library and Town Hall) and the East (Caulfield, Clayton, and Pakenham). (Side note, it’s crazy that there’s no airport rail right now!)
• Suburban rail loop — A lateral connection, via the airport, from the West to East
• A metro tunnel from the West (Sunbury) to East (Cranbourne / Pakenham) (to open in 2025)

But as a final word of caution, you can’t ignore the topic of safety in Melbourne’s public transport. I don’t want to complain about homeless people or those with mental illness, as I know it’s not like people choose to have rough lives, but I’ve been on trams where some people on the trams have had such mental illness issues that it has really disrupted the entire experience for a lot of people — or everyone.

I even saw one tram (going the other way) stop and let all the passengers out while one ailing passenger stayed on, vilely cursing everyone and everything they could see. It’s just something you have to expect as a possibility on a tram or train. The same is true of any major city, of course.

It’s not unusual to get onto a tram or train car and find a whole section of it unusable due to spilled food or drink, unruly behaviour, or a bad smell.

So, in summary — yes, it’s possible to get around central Melbourne using just walking and public transport. But this isn’t London, Paris, or Singapore.

Arts / Culture / Nightlife

OK quick reminder that I don’t drink. I’m a pretty active person and I’m up before dawn. So — refer to other sources for more authoritative views on the fact that Melbourne’s nightlife is great, with tons of curious and interesting bars in nooks and crannies all over the city. I’ve been to a few and like them!

On arts and culture — Melbourne is Australia’s main hub (or at least equal to Sydney) for this stuff. It’s home to one of the biggest comedy festivals in the world, the Melbourne Comedy Festival. There’s an important fashion week. There are huge galleries that get major shows.

Even Sydneysiders will glibly say that you go to Melbourne for things like fashion and arts, but go to Sydney for beaches and weather. Of course, you get all those things in both places, just to different degrees (literally, for Sydney. Yes, Sydney’s weather is great!)

Parks and Nature

One amazing thing about Melbourne is the access to green spaces — parks and gardens — and to nature outside the city.

Inside the city, there are many parks — even right in the middle! If you’re in or near the city, you might have access to things like

• Port Phillip Bay — a beautiful coastline along which you can cycle, walk, or run
• The Royal Botanic Gardens (known as “‘Tan”) — A huge (and free) garden and popular spot for everything from daily runs to weddings
• Fitzroy Gardens — A gorgeous manicured garden in East Melbourne, really spectacular at all times of day
• Carlton Gardens — home to not just greenery but some beautiful buildings
• The Yarra River — Yes, a typical Australian “brown” river (because of the muddy soil, not pollution), but still a nice nature reserve and cycling/running trail
• Williamstown Beach — One for the Westies (and there’s a lot of nature there!)

There’s much more, of course. The point is, you can live quite close to the middle of Melbourne and still have big natural spaces to enjoy.

Outside the city, Melbourne gives access to a lot. The whole gamut of nature, really. There’s the calm, warm waters of Port Phillip Bay (many people have holiday homes along the Mornington Peninsula), the rocky barren landscape of the Grampians where climbers and hikers can spend days having fun, the iconic surf beaches beyond Geelong (especially Torquay), the desolate beauty of Wilsons Promontory, and the lush rainforest of the Dandenongs. Something for everyone.

Safety in Melbourne — A Mixed Bag

Is Melbourne safe? Well, yes — compared to somewhere like Los Angeles or New York, Melbourne is safe. There’s less violent crime, no guns, and there’s support for people with mental illness. You’re much less likely to be killed by a stranger.

You can park your car outside in Melbourne and usually about the worst someone will do is write “wash me” into any dust it collects. This is compared to other major world cities (cough SF cough) where there’s a >20% chance of your car being broken into and all your petty cash stolen on any given night. Yes, motorcycles are stolen if they’re unchained and in a public place, but not at a rate that would put me on edge.

That said, I wouldn’t call Melbourne absolutely safe. It’s not on the same level of safety as Singapore or Seoul, for example. I’ve had encounters with rough people in the inner areas who have violently threatened me (one for just looking at him while he rode through a nice park — Fitzroy Gardens — on a Saturday morning… he brandished a bicycle seat at me, of all things, while hurling a stream of expletives and threatening me with a fist), tried to buy drugs off me (why me? I’ll never know), or offered up someone (purportedly his “wife”) as a sex worker.

Melbourne is still the heroin capital of Australia. Drug use is still rising, and fentanyl has reared its ugly head. It wasn’t until I got to Melbourne that I heard of the fentanyl “stoop” — a trait of users where they tend to incline forward.

There are rough suburbs. Richmond is still sketchy as heck, despite gentrification pushing housing prices through the roof (million-dollar townhouses). So is Footscray, Frankston (still affordable, though sketchy), Dandenong, and most of the CBD after dark. Even expensive suburbs like St Kilda, Abbotsford, and East Melbourne have good and bad areas. An experienced traveller can feel it from walking there. There are many others, I’m sure, but those are the ones that are common knowledge.

Melbourne is one of those big cities where if you choose to down outside, you choose to bear the risk of crazy behaviour (like someone very high on drugs) within a few metres. I write this as it happened last night in St Kilda — on a Sunday night. Or at best, in many areas, it’s not unlikely that someone will ask you for money.

Usually, I’ll get on a tram or train and quickly do a look up and down for sketchy behaviour. It’s usually in one part of the tram. On certain tram lines (those heading east out of the city past Collingwood and Richmond) it’s a near certainty. I’m not worried about being pickpocketed or physically assaulted, which is a luxury. But there’s behaviour that puts me on edge (just stuff like people yelling, standing on seats and looking out windows, or accosting strangers with disjointed loud conversation), so I can’t quite ever relax on most public transport. I suppose that’s one reason why most people have cars.

And then, as mentioned above, sometimes you’ll encounter an extreme mental illness or drugs incident on a tram or train that will result in you having to move or even leave. If I’ve caught less than twenty trams and seen it a few times, it’s definitely a high possibility.

Don’t walk home alone at night in rough suburbs. If you do, avoid trouble. Avoid dark areas. Don’t make eye contact with people. Have an emergency number on speed dial. It’s a shame, but that’s where I think Melbourne is at — and this is from someone large and intimidating-looking who practises fighting sports (different from fighting, but it’s still something).

Politics and Society

Melbourne is a very politically liberal (in the traditional sense — not referencing the party of the same name) city. It’s up there with the most liberal cities in the world. And it’s especially so near the centre — extending roughly from St Kilda in the south up to Brunswick in the north.

If you’re a left-leaning kind of person, and like things like minority rights and energy conservation, then Melbourne is likely to be your kind of place. But for many others who are more in the “I don’t care, stop telling me” kind of political space (even if you don’t consider yourself to be xenophobic), Melbourne can be suffocating because it’s often quite in your face.

In Melbourne, there are things like frequent marches for both domestic (e.g. reconciliation with the First People, and environmental measures) and world (e.g. Palestine, US politics) issues, a tendency to vote in favour of related issues, celebrations of things like sexual or gender identity, all-gender bathrooms, and rainbows or signs on doors saying all people are welcome.

I really like it. I am a straight male. Not white, but not particularly oppressed. Still, I prefer places that are open-minded and welcoming, like Melbourne, LA, Berlin, and so on. It’s one reason I don’t really get along with places like Singapore, Dubai, and Hong Kong – there’s an undercurrent of oppression there.

Where Melbourne goes a little too far (and I’m about to editorialise here) is that it’s a city under a little too much surveillance and control. Speed limits are low (30 km/h in places) and speed cameras are everywhere. There are surveillance cameras all over the city. The degree of lockdowns in Melbourne drove the residents crazy over 2020/2021 (also spurring protests) and ended the careers of some politicians.

So for me, it’s a mixed bag. I wish Melbourne were more like LA — I like the level of chaos there alongside the open-minded politics. OK, minus the homelessness and crime. But if I speed on a highway in LA, it’s because I’m keeping up with traffic — I don’t fear the sword of Damocles will drop at any point (there are no speeding cameras in California). But open-mindedness is the most important thing for me.

Location and Access

One black spot on Melbourne’s résumé is its location and accessibility. It really is far from pretty much everything. The only thing it’s somewhat close to (apart from Sydney) is New Zealand… and that’s still hours away by flight! Even Sydney is a whole day’s drive away (or a flight that involves mostly getting to and from airports).

In fact, Jerry Seinfeld copped it (in the late 90s when he was in his heyday) for referring to Melbourne as being “the anus of the world”. Not a great choice of words, but he was right. Melbourne’s right there at the bottom, because it’s not like we can fly over Antarctica to get to England. OK, Buenos Aires is down there too, but at least it’s surrounded by the Americas. Maybe Cape Town knows how Melbourne feels.

On top of the remote position, there’s not even a train to Melbourne’s airport. There’s just a bus or an expensive taxi/Uber. There’ll be a train built to the airport at some time in the future as part of the major infrastructure projects, but there’s no deadline at the time of writing.

London has access to all of Europe, as do other European cities of course. New York even isn’t far from Europe, relatively speaking. Other major world cities like Singapore and Hong Kong have airports and locations that give them access to tons of other regional delights. Singapore’s airport is efficient, but I think nothing beats the convenience of Hong Kong’s in-town check-in. (Note, I subjectively don’t really like those last two cities, but I know they’re major world cities that others do like.)

Another impact of Melbourne’s location is that people don’t drop by and visit. In other major world cities (especially in Europe and the US), I’ve had many people drop by. “Oh Dana, you’re in Paris; I’m in Paris! Let’s hang out.” It was a common occurrence. Same in London and New York, and also in Asian cities (but less so). This can happen in Melbourne, but much more rarely. Heck, it’s even slightly more likely in Sydney.

So, while Melbourne has a world of options within it, living in Melbourne can lead one to feel somewhat isolated. People I know in Melbourne tend to leave for long periods — weeks at at time, for example — because it’s quite annoying to go anywhere. Maybe this is why Australians are known as travellers. Once we’re out of the country, we stay out for a while.

Coffee (and Water)

I’ve come this far without mentioning coffee. But truth be told, Melbourne’s coffee is top of mind for so many people, independently of food.

For decades, Melbourne has been at the forefront of the global specialty coffee revolution. Many world-class roasters, cafes, and baristas are (or were) based in Melbourne. Melburnians have often placed highly or won the World Barista Championships or the World Brewer’s Cup.

Melbourne has such a reputation for coffee that Melburnians have no qualms about (somewhat snobbily) saying “XYZ has great coffee, and that’s coming from a Melburnian”. It’s similar to how a French person might profess an opinion on cheese or wine relative to French produce, or how an Argentinian might claim authority on the quality of beef. Melbourne didn’t invent coffee, but it certainly was one of the leading lights in the globalisation of the concept of high-end coffee.

The world has changed since specialty coffee’s halcyon days in the early 2000s, and you can now find good coffee all over the world. Of course, “good” coffee is subjective and dependent on many variables, so I can say that the best coffee in Melbourne is on par with many other places that also have world-class coffee, like London, LA, Portland (Oregon), Copenhagen, Berlin, Oslo, other cities in Australian, and of course many others.

But in Melbourne, the whole bar is higher. There are no diners in Melbourne where you can get a cup of swill for a buck. In this city, it’s hard to find a bad cup of coffee, even from a very average-looking diner. It’s that good.

Every café in Melbourne has a mid to high-end machine and baristas who effortlessly pour latte art onto a base of espresso from great beans brewed using great water.

And Melbourne water is great. It’s great from the tap. You’d be a sucker to drink filtered water in Melbourne unless your pipes are literally made of lead. Melbourne tap water beats bottled water in other places I’ve lived. It’s so good that “Melbourne Water” is a recipe that others around the world emulate.

You’re not going to move to a city because of the water. But every day I drink water straight from the tap I realise how lucky I am.

Final Words

This isn’t an article about Melbourne being the “best” city. It definitely has its faults. Weather, transport, and location are the top ones.

But I don’t think there’s any one best city in the world — they all have faults. I just think that Melbourne deserves to be in the conversation.